Oblivious
by PaperbackWriter090
Summary: Lincoln ponders his attractiveness while strange things happen around the house.
1. Chapter 1

Oblivious

Last night he dreamt that he was speaking to his girlfriend again. She had long flowing hair and her eyes were like diamonds, sparkling like the stars in the night sky. Oh my god, were they beautiful. The voice he heard from her was perfect, resonating within his eardrums as he listened intently to every word that she said. She was talking about how amazing her day was, the familiar middle school friend that she met at the library today, the picture she took of a boy and a girl chasing one another at the park today, and of course, how terribly she missed him all day.

It was a pity that she didn't have any classes with him. They didn't even share the same lunches or even got the chance to talk to one another in the hallway. High school sucked because of the fact that they never met each other as often anymore. And in class, the only thing the both of them could think about was each other. Maybe about what they did last week, maybe about what they're doing right now, maybe about what they're gonna do ten years in the future. Infatuation happened a lot in high school, what with all of the puberty and the raging hormones or whatever, but it was clear this was no simple crush or obsession. They wanted to spend every waking moment with one another, wanted to be with each other till the end of time, wanted to have kids with one another. This was true love.

"So then, I told her that I needed to go," Lincoln said.

"But isn't today a free day for you today?"

"Uh-huh. But I wouldn't want to miss out spending time with my _girlfriend,_ now would I?"

She blushed a crimson red, smile still plastered on her cheeks. Her demure hands reached for her hair, pulling her silky locks that covered her head.

"Y-you didn't have to do that for me. I'm perfectly fine with you spending time with your other friends,"

He reached out his hand, placing it gently on her left cheek, tenderly rubbing it.

"I know. But I wanted to."

He smiled. She smiled. They both smiled.

"I love you, Lincoln."

"I love you too."

He closed his eyes and leaned in close for a kiss, their lips crashing into one another.

Then he woke up.

His eyes fluttered open to the sound of the irritating beeps that emitted from that damn alarm clock. He sat upright in his bed, bleary-eyed, and looked over towards the clock. The clock practically yelled "Six-thirty!" at him, in those big, dumb, stupid bold red font that every annoying alarm clock liked to use. After all, how else are you going to wake up sleepy teenagers that sleep at twelve midnight because they were too busy mining for diamonds?

His bed was small, but it was sizable. He preferred to sleep on the side nearest to the drywall, but at the same time, he disliked it a lot. Firstly, because it seemed like the drywall was way too brittle and soft. He was afraid he would kick in his sleep and it would put a hole in it. Secondly, because it left a large empty area in the remaining space. Almost like _someone_ was supposed to sleep there, but they weren't actually there. If you hadn't guessed by now, yes, Lincoln, in fact, did _not_ have a girlfriend. If he had one, he'd be a lot happier right now.

He sighed. Why didn't anyone want to be with him? He wasn't jacked, but he was kind and nice. Or was that a basic human requirement? All he wanted was someone to cuddle next to, was that so hard?

He got up out of bed, opening the door to the hallway. Outside stood a long line of girls, whom he called sisters. Because they were, you know, his sisters. They had been acting weird since Lincoln matured though. Something about them had changed, and he wasn't sure what it was. Women truly were a mystery.

"Hey Linc, wanna hear a joke?"

The resident funny-woman of the Loud House was about to tell him a pun. Lincoln couldn't place his finger on what was weird about her, but something was definitely off. Her face was red, and she looked like she was sweating a lot.

"Uh, go ahead Luan,"

"A sister asks her brother, 'Hey, do you wanna sleep with me in my bed tonight?' Her brother says, 'No, but thank you!' But she says, 'Oh no, I incest!'"

She then slapped her knee, almost about to keel over and die from how funny the joke was to her. Lincoln, on the other hand, kept a straight face as he heard the joke. Not because it was out of taste, but because it was probably the fifth time he had heard it, this week alone. Why was she making so many incest jokes? Luan was never one to reuse material. If anything, she hated it. It didn't make sense.

Anyways, back to Lincoln's girlfriend problem. Why didn't any girl find him attractive? He had everything girls wanted, he was friendly, kind and _somewhat_ attractive. I mean, he was sure he wasn't a neckbeard. Perhaps it was because he lacked the typical attractive features, chiseled jaw, lean figure, a huge-

Just that moment, the bathroom door unlocked and it swung open. Lincoln snapped out of his train of thought, preparing to enter the bathroom. But from within, a blonde had stepped outside. Lincoln recognized it as his second-eldest sister, Leni. She had apparently forgotten to put on her towel around her body.

"Hey, Leni. I think you left your towel in the bathroom," he said.

However, she had completely ignored his question.

"_Hey, Linky! Notice anything?~_" she seductively said.

"I noticed you don't have a towel on,"

"_I know, do you like it?~_"

"Like… what?"

"_Do you like my body without a towel on?~_"

"I would like it better if you had a towel on."

Her face changed from one of seductiveness to a look of disdain. She scoffed at his remarks and walked off haughtily, which only confused Lincoln even more. What did he say to make her upset?

He shrugged and took over her place from the bathroom. He walked inside, closing the door behind him. He walked over to the sink, which had the bathroom mirror placed directly above it. He took up his sword of hygiene from its holder, squeezing out a dollop of toothpaste onto it, and attacked his mouth with a flurry of swishes and brushes.

Where was he again? Oh, right. On the topic of why he was physically unable to obtain every man's dream in life. A girlfriend. Or a boyfriend, if you were that kind of person. Or both, if you were greedy. He continued brushing his teeth as he scrutinized his face closely in the mirror. He wasn't _that_ unattractive, was he? I mean, maybe he wasn't every girl's type, but surely he was at least _one_ girl's type, right?

He spat out the mixture in his mouth and rinsed it off. He took off his shirt to reveal the toned, muscular and lean- well, not really. All those magazines and movies all showed male teenagers having these ripped, wiry muscles. Lincoln called bullshit. Puberty didn't do anything to him. He looked at his body and maybe saw one… or two defined muscles that stared back at him. He was kinda "skinny-fat" but not really, kinda lean but definitely not mean.

Maybe that was his problem. His body? Maybe girls were looking for a guy who went to the gym 24/7, somebody who lifted weights and did rows and did squats or whatever. His sisters used to say that they weren't bothered by a guy's body shape and that it didn't matter, and what truly mattered was a guy's personality. I mean, it was kinda true, judging from their boyfriends. Bobby was skinny as hell. He had a six-pack, but not the "I go to the gym every day" six-pack, it was the "I haven't eaten anything in the past six months" six-pack. And Chaz was portly and stout. But Leni didn't seem to mind that, seeing as she was in love with him anyway. And his dad was… well, his dad had the dad bod and a beer belly. But Mom didn't seem to mind.

But these were his sisters! (And Mom!) Surely their preferences didn't reflect the general population's opinions. And if their words were right, Lincoln would've at least have gotten _one_ girl by now. Honestly, how hard could it be? Or maybe it wasn't about muscles. Maybe it was about height. Maybe he was too sho-

"Hey, Linc! Do you have a minute?"

Lincoln's train of thought was once again ruined by the voice that startled him outside the bathroom door. He sighed in frustration. How many times would his thought process be interrupted today?

He walked up to the bathroom door.

"Yeah?"

"Uh, dude… I'm kinda running late here, do you mind if I come in and we can… bathe together?"

"Running late? Isn't it only seven?"

" ...yeah, but uh…"

"And isn't sharing a bathroom with me weird?"

"Y-yeah, but um…"

"And-"

"Okay! I get it, Lincoln!"

Silence filled the air as the voice outside the door gradually faded into nothing. Luna wanted to share the bathroom with him? They hadn't bathed together ever since they were kids. And here she was, asking if they would want to bathe with one another? Weird.

Lincoln shrugged. He continued stripping off articles of clothing from his body, his pants, his underwear until he was completely naked. He stared at himself in the mirror again. Sadly, he wasn't tall enough to see his package hanging from the mirror. Maybe that was why he wasn't getting a girlfriend. Because he wasn't packing heat?

He stepped over and into the bathtub, placing both feet firmly on the floor of the porcelain. He twisted the knobs until it was his desired temperature. Maybe it was something he had taken from his sisters, but Lincoln enjoyed spending time in the bathroom. He enjoyed showering and not that other thing you're thinking of.

He continued his discussion with himself as he continued his body's daily maintenance. Maybe body type really was the answer to his problems. He remembered stepping into the men's locker room during P.E. Oh, how he remembered seeing _everything_. And he remembered seeing himself being seen by other people. Some were bigger, some were smaller. But other than that, he was pretty average.

Maybe _that_ was the problem. Averageness. Maybe he was too average for any girl to actually like him. He didn't stand out from the crowd, with the exception of his white hair. He was average build, average weight, average height, average everything.

He twisted the knobs back again, stopping the shower of rain. He looked down at himself. Maybe if he had enough time he could- Nah. Would take way too long. Was that what women liked? Did they like it long? Not the thing, the act. Did they want it to last long? Judging from the sounds of Mom and Dad… probably not. Maybe they didn't. Or maybe Dad was lighting fast. Actually, why was he on this topic again?

He wrapped a towel around himself. It covered his lower body, leaving his upper body exposed to the outside world. He needed to hurry up, else he would be late for his test on European Socialism. But seriously, what was the point of this test? He wasn't European, nor did he intend to become European. So who gives a crap if they were socialists? It still wouldn't change the fact that he didn't have a girlfriend.

He opened the door and heard the inaudible shrieks of terror from his sisters when he did. Why were they so close to the bathroom door?

"Um… why are you close to the bathroom door?" he asked.

"Because… we wanted to see how long you took…" his sporty sister's words trailed off. She had, for some strange reason, decided to stop looking at him in the eyes, and her eyes had instead trailed lower to his abdomen. Maybe there was a scratch or something there?

"... to shower?" he finished.

She nodded her head without looking at him, again, much to Lincoln's befuddlement. Quizzical, puzzled, perplexed and doubtful, the feelings of confusion washed away from him as he shrugged, giving the 'whatever' look, before walking back to his room. He had noticed something else from his other sisters though. They were all strangely looking at him with red faces as if maybe they had caught him with his pants down. Well, first of all, he was quite sure that the towel hadn't slipped off while he wasn't looking, and second, he wasn't _wearing_ any pants for them to come down. Oh well. The inner machinations of women's minds were an enigma.

_Cut to a carton of milk falling over_

He closed the door behind him, making sure to close his windows and locking his door. Maybe he should've taken a sick day today, then he would have more time to mope around. After all, he did watch that movie where that one guy told him to lick his palms to fake sickness or whatever.

He moved to his closet, taking out his typical clothing, orange polo, and jeans. Ah… and his prized red-

Wait, where was it?

More knocks on the door sounded off in rapid succession. Oh my god, when would the knocks stop?! Lincoln decided to wing it and opened the door with his lower body behind the door itself. He looked down to see that it was his younger sister. The blonde one. No, not the princess, the other one. Yes, that one.

"Yes, Lana?"

"H-hey, Linc," she said, her face clearly flushed.

Another bout of silence entered the Loud House again, this time between the two of them.

"Uh, I don't have all day, Lana. What is it that you want?" Lincoln said exasperatedly.

"O-oh! I-I wanted to give you something…"

"What is it?"

The handywoman then slipped out a pair of underpants that were maroon red, with white stripes that stitched the undergarment together. To many, they would recognize it as a pair of regular briefs. But to the sharp eye, they would know that it was the special red velvet cotton, non-binding elastic underwear that had a thread count of two thousand. And to Lincoln, they were his prized possessions that protected his prized possessions. Faberge eggs? Did people use that to describe them? Sounds stupid.

Nonetheless, he was grateful.

"Oh! There they are! Thanks, Lana! Where'd you find them?"

"M-my room…"

"Why would they be-"

But before he could ask anything else, she ran off. Huh. Weird. Again. But no matter. This was the Loud House! Nothing was too weird for them. Maybe his sisters were down or whatever. And he wasn't going to let that take him away from today. Maybe he didn't have a girlfriend, but that didn't matter to him. Today was a good day, and he was going to keep it that way. He put on all his clothing and went down the stairs.

Downstairs, he noticed that the noise that usually permeated the air had suddenly vanished into thin air, leaving the silence to fill the air instead. But Lincoln wasn't concerned. In fact, he was more concerned about what girls liked best in a boy.

"Do you like it?" Lori asked.

"HmMmMM?" Lincoln asked/grunted with a mouth full of food.

"I made today's food for you, I hope you like it~," Lori said.

Lincoln was shocked. _Lori_ made breakfast? Since when did she make breakfast? In fact, when has she ever sat next to Lincoln at the table before? Was this even her regular seat? Was any of this even regular? Did they even have regular seats? And why was everybody so quiet?

He swallowed a mouthful of food before answering.

"Oh! Yeah, it's great!"

She blushed at his comment.

"_I made it with love~_" she suggestively said.

Lincoln looked down at his plate, only to find out that all the food on his plate were heart-shaped. The pancakes were heart-shaped, the eggs were heart-shaped, the syrup on the pancakes was heart-shaped, even the _hash browns _were heart-shaped_?!_

"_What do you think of it?~_"

"O-oh my god, Lori…" he stuttered.

Her sly grin grew wider.

"How did you make the hash browns heart-shaped?!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Oblivious: Part 2**

He pushed the ice pack harder on his cheek. It stung. Really, it did. After the slap that Lori gave him at the dinner table, he had been holding an ice pack against his face. He really hoped it wasn't swollen. Or red. Or noticeable in any way at all.

He had a million questions. Why did Lori slap him? Was it because he was rude? Was questioning her cooking rude? Maybe she wasn't having a good day. But what really stumped him was the fact that the rest of his sisters seemed to react the same way as she did. When he asked them for answers, they just scoffed at him. Man, that was really OOC of them to do, especially Leni. Did Lincoln really just think OOC in his head? What a fanfiction nerd.

And the topping on the cake was the fact that she would not drive him to school. And no one else did either, even Leni. But only because she still didn't have her driver's license. Not OOC. And that meant that he had to cycle. Ugh, whatever Lori. He _literally_ did not care. Cycling was great, anyways. The open air, the exercise, the great outdoors.

Maybe that was what girls liked. Maybe girls liked boys who spent more time outdoors than boys who spent time indoors. Well, he knew that some of his sisters did. But what about girls in general? Did they like outgoing boys? Did they hate boys who spent time indoors? Where did Lincoln even fit into on the spectrum of indoors and outdoors boys?

Hold off on the thoughts, Lincoln just reached school. He dismounted his bike, locking it with a chain around the bike rack. How nice of the principal to put a bike rack after literal months of petitioning to get one. Lincoln would call him a decent principal if not for the fact that he had flossed during assembly to become hip with the teens. Truly a 'How do you do, fellow kids?' if Lincoln's ever seen one.

"Hey, lame-o!"

He heard the voice of the familiar Latina reverberate in his eardrums. He turned to see Ronnie Anne, still wearing her familiar purple sweater, along with her denim shorts.

Lincoln thought back to the days when they were both kids. Was he ever in love with her? Of course, he was. He was an eleven-year-old boy, who's best friend (second to Clyde) was a girl. If common sense dictates anything, it says that young boys always have crushes on their girl (space) friends.

But all things come to an end, even if it means forcefully pulling it out of your hands and beating yourself up for not being good enough for her. Lincoln never took things further than a platonic relationship, and he was pretty grateful for that. A girlfriend was nice, but having friends was… well, it wasn't nicer, but at least it was a good consolation prize.

"Hey, Ronnie. What's up?"

"Where're your sisters? Don't they usually drive you to school?"

"Yeah, but I think I might've said or done something wrong to make em' angry,"

"Really? What did you say?"

"Well, today was a weird morning…"

Lincoln then explained to her the morning antics of his sisters and him today, leaving no detail spared as he specified what had happened thus far, from the bathroom things to his missing underwear, and to Lori's slap today.

But what he hadn't noticed was Ronnie Anne's face, which from each detail that he explained, had become increasingly flushed and became redder and redder as he continued. By the time he had finished, her face was as red as a tomato.

"... so I guess she was mad cause I was too straightforward or something. What do you think, Ronnie? Ronnie?"

"Huh?! W-what?"

"I asked you for your opinion. What do you think's gotten into them?"

"Um… I-"

But before she could even speak, the school bell had rung, signifying that their time was up, and they were supposed to go to class.

"Oh, nevermind then, Ronnie. Guess I'll see you later then?"

"Y-yeah… see you later, Lincoln,"

Lincoln then turned around and walked to class. He replayed the scenes from the morning over and over in his head. What had gotten into his sisters though, seriously? It was almost as if they were in love with him.

Oddly enough, that was the exact same thing that Lori had said to him. 'I made it with love.' Hmm. If only the school bell had rung later, then he would've at least gotten a trusted friend's opinion from Ronnie. Maybe she wouldn't have given a correct answer, but you always have to trust your friends. Especially females. They _always_ know what's going on.

Speaking of Ronnie, why was he acting so weird to Lincoln? She was always the bold, brash, confident type. She didn't even say a word when he was in the middle of his story. In fact, she looked like she was humiliated or something. Why? Maybe she was jealous that her brother didn't show the same familial love? Probably.

He dismissed the issue as quickly as it came up, attributing to jealousy. Ronnie was always the competitive type. Perhaps everything would clear up by the end of the day.

* * *

"So… what do you think, Clyde?"

"Ah… I wish your sister would make breakfast for me…"

"No time for daydreaming, Clyde. I need solid answers,"

The pair continued zooming down the street at an alarming rate as Lincoln cycled faster and faster on the pavement.

"Tell you the truth, I dunno. It could just be familial love,"

"I know right? But Ronnie acted all strange about it,"

"What did she say?"

"Well, it was kinda weird. She said she was jealous of my relationship with my sisters, and she kept on asking what I would do if we were married or if we boyfriend and girlfriend. Then she pushed me against a locker and started furiously making out with me. What do you think it means?"

"She _might_ be into you,"

"Don't be silly. Ronnie? Liking me?" he scoffed.

"Well, what about the rest of your day?"

Lincoln thought about the rest of his day. It certainly was weird. He felt as if he was being stared at for the entire day like people were tracing him with their eyes. Gym class was especially weird. He got picked to be on the Girl Jordan's team, and she squealed in delight for… some reason.

Then during basketball, it was like she tried to go for a sports handshake every time she walked past him. She even tried to encourage Lincoln to give _her_ a sports handshake. He kindly refused.

And during Home Ec, that one brown-haired girl, what was her name again? Chloe? Courtney? Cookie? Probably… Chloe. Anyways, she had offered Lincoln to taste one of her cookies, and Lincoln politely declined. He didn't like raisins, thank you very much. And what he assumed to be a polite turn-down to a polite gesture was stopped when she demanded that he taste it. He continued refusing it, and the teacher had to intervene when she nearly beat him with her cooking pan.

And even after that, during lunch. Cristina had even greeted him, something Lincoln thought she would never do after the "incident" in fifth grade. He still physically cringed at the thought of the video, repressing it in his memories forevermore. But she had greeted him politely out of nowhere, offering to seat with him.

Yet again, out of sheer courtesy and being the chivalrous and ABSOLUTE FOOL he is, he declined the offer. But instead of reacting poorly like the girl from Home Ec (Lincoln had forgotten her name already), she instead ignored him, choosing to sit on his lap instead, gradually moving to the middle of his legs. Lincoln remembered the conversation they had as clear as day.

"Do you have a piece of meat for me?~"

"Meat? I mean… I have an extra ham sandwich,"

He snapped back to the bicycle ride with Clyde.

"It was interesting, I guess."

* * *

He ground his bike to a halt outside Clyde's house.

"Guess I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Sure, see you tomorrow,"

But before Lincoln could speed off immediately, he was greeted by his phone vibrating in his pocket. He pulled out his cell to read that it was a phone call from his eldest sister.

He put the phone to his ear.

"Hey, Lori- what? It's… 5.45pm, why? Late? What are you talking about? The sun is still up! I- okay, but- fine. Okay, okay, I'm going. I… love you, too?"

He put his cell back into his pocket.

"Weird."

* * *

He reached home in twenty minutes. To a horde of angry sisters.

"We were _literally_ so worried about you!"

"Like, where were you, Linky?"

"You were gone for so long, dude!"

"_Butter_ late than never, I guess!"

"Why didn't you tell us where you were going?"

"You should know that I was this close to contacting the spirits,"

"I needed you to brush my hair _twenty minutes ago!_"

"Relax! I was out with Clyde!" Lincoln explained.

"Doing what?" Lori asked.

"Uh… guy stuff?"

They gasped.

"Y-you mean…"

Luan held up both her hands, forming an 'OK' sign with her left hand, and shoving her index finger from her right hand into the hole.

"What?! No! Not _that_ guy stuff! We just like… went to the arcade!"

The sister collectively sighed, and Lincoln was unsure whether Luna's sigh was in relief or in frustration. But whatever, he thought. Not wanting to shrug, he merely rolled his eyes before walking back to his room.

Wait! He still had questions about girlfriends. And stuff. And other girl stuff.

"Hold on! I still have a question for you guys- I mean, girls,"

They turned around to face him, eagerly awaiting his question.

"So… Ronnie Anne kissed me at scho- why do you guys look so mad?"

He noticed that their facial expressions had changed from one of eagerness to a face of contempt. Was this the part where they went berserk?

Their hands reached out, grabbing him and squeezing him tightly in the middle of them. It took about five seconds for Lincoln to realize that they were in fact, _not_ squeezing the life out of him but were, in fact giving him a group hug. To be fair, the hug was very tight.

"Ugh, that tramp!"

"What a hussy!"

"She's literally not worth it, Lincoln!"

"Such as skank move, dude!"

Lincoln broke out of their chokehold.

"Woah, woah, woah! What're you saying?"

Lori was the first to speak up.

"What we're saying is… she doesn't _actually_ love you,"

"W-what?! Then why'd she kiss me?"

"Because she's a _whore!_"

Surprisingly, the obscenity came from Lola, who said it with such emphasis and gusto that the rest of them didn't even register it in their heads.

"Then she's… not in love with me?"

They nodded their heads collectively.

"Then how would I know if a girl's in love with me?"

They didn't have an answer for that and instead shifted uncomfortably in their places. But Lynn had a different idea.

"Here, let me show you how a girl in love with you _really_ _kisses~"_

She went over to Lincoln and immediately kissed him straight on the lips, without warning or anything. She prodded her way into his mouth, making her way into his mouth, feeling over the back of his teeth, biting his lower lip several times and doing it over and over again.

Lincoln hadn't moved his tongue at all though because he was still in surprise. His eyes widened at first, but they closed soon after he eventually realized what was happening. He didn't move from his place as he saw sparks fly from the sudden move from Lynn.

Lincoln soon responded with moves of his own, moving his own tongue back into Lynn's mouth, to which she responded with a squeal of surprise as he explored the unexplored, going boldly to where no man had gone before. He remembered all the tutorials on making out that he had "researched" before on the internet, and utilized the techniques.

He tilted his head slightly, pushing a little bit farther in until he almost reached the back of her cheeks. He placed his hands around her waist, wrapping Lynn closer to him, giving him some leverage over her. He broke off the kiss for a second, intending to go for her neck. A trail of saliva still connected their mouths, and their ragged breaths showed how tired they were.

"Move over! I've got to see this for myself!"

Lynn was suddenly pushed off by the eldest sister, who seemed flustered that she wasn't the first sister to receive the kiss from him.

"Let _me_ show you how it's really done~"

She crashed her lips into Lincoln's once again, and Lincoln could tell that she was definitely more experienced than Lynn. She had previous experience with her boyfriend, and she was definitely fighting back Lincoln's tongue.

But her time was short as she was also pushed off by Luna, who demanded that she get her turn, who was subsequently pushed off by Luan, who was about to make a pun until _she_ was pushed off by Leni, who had forgotten what they were fighting over.

And just like that, the Loud sisters soon got into a fight over Lincoln, pushing and shoving one another for the right to make out with the ashen-haired boy, who in the middle of all of the ruckus, managed to slip out of their sight.

"Phew, guess they _really_ wanted to teach me, huh?" he said to you. But you could only sit there itching to have a long and hard conversation with him. And by conversation, I mean 'bloody your fist' against his stupid face.

Lincoln walked back into his room, content that his sisters were so enthusiastic about teaching him the basics of love. If his sisters weren't related to him, he'd probably date them cause they were so kind and sweet. But they probably didn't love him as much, even if they were related to him.

He was happy though. Now he had a whole lot more techniques to use against the ladies. And his make-out game was definitely better after that lesson.

"Lincoln."

He jumped in fright and looked over to the bed, only to see Lucy, glistening in the moonlight, her pale and creamy white body, reflecting the light back into Lincoln's eyes. She was… naked.

"Lucy… why are you naked on my bed?"

Lucy was appalled. She thought that Lincoln would at least feel more abashed at the fact that his underage younger sister was literally naked in front of him, laying in a sexually suggestive position.

"L-Lincoln. I have a poem to read to you,"

"Okay, Luce. Lay it on me."

She cleared her throat.

"In brightest day, in darkest night, all of us sisters carry a plight,"

Plight? What burden did his sisters carry?

"Our curse rendered onto us, is love's foul play, from dawn till dusk,"

Love?

"One of our own is who we love, the bunny we have a heart for, sent from above,"

Bunny?

"We hope he knows who he is, for we hope he fucks us senseless."

Was she even allowed to be in his room? And why was she speaking in riddles? And what bunny? And was she allowed to curse?

She stood up, spreading her legs apart, showing off her flower.

"I love you Lincoln. I can't hold it any longer. I've wanted you for so long that it hurts, and now that you can finally know, I want you- no I _need you to pound and fuck me senseless until I can no longer recite my own name any more!"_

Lincoln placed his hand on his sister's shoulder.

"Hey,"

Lucy stared back into his blue eyes.

"Get the hell out of my room."

He pulled open his door, kicking her straight out the door.

* * *

As Lincoln lay on his bed he thought about the things that had happened in the past twenty-four hours. His sisters. Ronnie Anne. Cristina. Uh… Home Ec girl. They all did things that only lovers did to their partners.

Oh my god. Lincoln just had a revelation as she sat up on the bed. The kissing, the making out, the sitting, the constant need for attention. It was finally all clicking into place.

"Oh my god…" Lincoln said.

"T-they all…"

"...were trying to help me get a girlfriend!"

A collective sigh sounded from outside his door.

**END**


End file.
